I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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