I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
