well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
