Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
