i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
