Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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