when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
