just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize