Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
