i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
