i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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