yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
