I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
