Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
