oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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