I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
