I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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