Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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