Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
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Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
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I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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