also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
