He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
