I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
