If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
