Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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