I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
If I had your ass I would rule the world
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
