So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
