WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
