It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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