This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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