I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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