Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
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Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
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The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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