i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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