dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
