Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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