I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
