My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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