There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
