Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
