So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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