dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
