I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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