I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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