it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
