you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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