Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
