you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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