I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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