i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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