I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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