Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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