Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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