Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
