Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
