I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
