I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
