Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
