found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
