i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
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